The Definitive Ranking Of All The Men On “The Office”
Just act really surprised when you get to number one.
Pros: None. Absolutely none. Okay, okay, that’s unfair. Toby understands the importance of sunscreen, and he has a cute daughter for you to play with.
Cons: He’s creepy and thought the Scranton Strangler was innocent. And worse than that, he wouldn’t stop talking about his jury duty for, like, years after it happened. He takes things that are fun and exciting, and he makes them not that way. I hate so much about the things he chooses to be.
Pros: On the show, he’s in his eighties, so you wouldn’t have to stay with him for very long. His strange behavior would also make for some great dinner party stories. You’d probably be able to confirm for us once and for all if he’s a murderer.
Cons: He’s probably a murderer.
Pros: He turned around after Pam dumped him. He knows how to play Billy Joel songs on the piano.
Cons: He was pretty much a dick to Pam throughout their entire relationship, and that makes him dumb because Pam is a warrior who deserves your respect. He wanted hot dogs at his wedding. Hot dogs.
Pros: He understands the importance of luxury and pleasure, so you'd never be bored. That's about it.
Cons: He's creepy, he's rude, and what fresh Game of Thrones hell did he crawl out of, anyway?